Little GIRL Lost!

I used to believe that I was adopted, I mean, really believe it to my core. I endured some of the(eee) most backwards shit as a kid, and every single transgression had a gross justification. Take this picture for example, there are two very wrong things going on here. That look on my face is not just depair and disdain, it is also deeply rooted in shame.

Lou Diamond Phillips

I used to have this green jumper, that was offensive, not just to those that had to witness it, but to my vag area. I was a tall kid and this outfit just didn’t fit, it was too short and it downright hurt my “Cu-Co” (as grandma would call it). My mother loved this thing for some reason, as you can see her proudly accessorizing it with Mr. Roper’s scarf.

MESSAGE: Don’t do this to your tall kids, it shits on their self-esteem and more importantly, their self-assessment.

Alright, let’s get to the more obvious. Why the hell do I have a haircut that speaks more to the military than it does to the first grade? Simple: some Latin folk believe that cutting your daughter’s hair, makes it grow back stronger. I really wish I had a better reason like I caught lice at school or had finished my chemo, but no,  this was my mother following the directions of her elders on how to get my hair in that “Head and Shoulders” commercial condition.

So, what do you get when you dress your 6 year old girl in a Soul Train outfit and give her a buzz cut? A baby Lou Diamond Phillips!

I’ve been busy, but I’m back!

I've been busy, but I'm back!

Missed you guys, I guess you can say life has been happening and I have been a little negligent of my blogging duties. I apologize for that my friends, my daughter is busier than Bill Gates and I have been working…thank GOD!

In the last few months, I have taped a new stand up show “Stand Up and Deliver” airing on the NuVo Network and and I just wrapped on a new Day Time Talk Series with the Honorable Judge Joe Brown. We had many guests come by and we had an awesome time. I look forward to sharing the experience with you soon.

DETOX: DAY 9-21

I know you are wondering if I fell off the wagon with my regards to the detox, I didn’t.  The wagon that I couldn’t stay on was writing about it for various reasons, one being the FLU!  I completed my detox and I have to tell you that it was not easy, I was pulling teeth towards the end because I kept thinking about HOT FOOD!  Then I had a moment and remembered that the reason my brain works the way it does is so that I don’t conduct myself like a Hyena.  I finally coasted into my detox-flow (I like how that sounds) and completed the task at hand.  

It made me feel good for various reasons…

1. I completed what I started, it was was different from joining a choir, painting a street wall, learning Japanese…You get the picture.

2. My body felt rejuvenated and new, I haven’t been falling asleep at 6:17 PM as of late.

3. I can see a difference in my skin, nails and hair and my tummy’s not so bad either.

4. I expanded my fruits and vegetables catalog, a lot more options make you optimistic about the next meal, especially when you’re greedy like me.

AND drum roll please

NUMBER FIVE:  I learned so many things to do with KALE, KALe, KAle, Kale, kale.  

I steam it, put it in a salad, make chips, bake it, stew it and the list goes on and on.

I try to do this every 4 months, you should try it.  Someone told me that they thought the whole detox thing was extreme and I simply reminded her that it is no more extreme than an oil change for your car every three months.  

Give your system a break and reward it with the fruits of the Universe’s labor, YOU deserve it!

Image
Kale (Vegan) Parmesan Chips—Delicioso!

Day 7, Week 1, Hell Yeah!

Image
The Transformation Continues!

I am tired my friends, so I will keep this post short and sweet.  A week went by and what seemed impossible is now behind me.  I want you to understand that making a commitment to change is a choice that requires work.  I feel it everyday, most of my day feels good though.  I have been eating many fruits and vegetables but my nuts (cashews, pistachios and almonds) give me the fullness that I need to cope.  The workouts are hard at times but they get easier with time and they don’t feel as draining.  My water intake is very high and it makes me feel refreshed and staying hydrated fuels my energy.  I am proud to have completed week one and am excited to see what is ahead.  Good night.  

All Hail to the KALE! DAY 6

Image

Yo, today was a good day!  I decided that it was going to be and so it was.  I had all of my herbs during the day, I walked for 30 minutes and ate clean all day.  I actually had some delicious KALE with a raw dressing that was FANTABULOUS or maybe I was just hungry as hell (either way) it worked out.  I am not going to get all holy righteous and tell you that this is easy for me, because it is not.  I have been on a roller coaster for years with my self destructive eating habits and am working on making healthy eating a habit.  It’s a battle for me just like it is for you, but I am never going to quit trying.  Throughout the day I can’t tell you how many times I am tempted by one of these demonic commercials or the smell of something that JUST CAN’T BE GOOD!  I just close my eyes, meditate, hum a song to myself and sometimes even just pinch myself to remember the goal, damnit.  I am battling years of programming here: from a mother that would force me to clean my plate to the society wrecking monster of commercialism that capitalizes on those that eat poorly.  Anyways, I didn’t want to get too heavy for you, I am trying to get away from that, literally.  But I just wanted to share so that you would know that it is more common than you think; you are not alone…just look around.  Ciao.

The Ugly Truth! Detox day 2

Image

Today was day 2 of my detox and I gotta tell you (as the above picture shows) it got ugly.  I didn’t do so well eating completely raw and my workout was, as they say in New York, nervous!!!  I did half of an Ab workout and quit, I was so weak.  I ate some noodles and popcorn (THIS IS SO NOT GOOD), but I have to keep it 100.  So I tried to balance out the day by drinking lots of water and not eating anything else that wasn’t raw.

There’s is nothing to do but move forward and be real about where we stand.  I could lie to you but the scale would tell me the TRUTH!  I will admit that today I wished that I was in a live game of “Candy Land” so that I could delight in endless gumdrops, peppermints and lollipops.  I know that it’s the addiction to toxins in my body that call for these and am gearing up for the battle.  Now, I will pick myself up by my cross trainers and hit the beat, yet again.  I HAVE A GOAL and it does not entail having a tire between my chest and knees.  Let’s keep going, I promise, tomorrow will be better!